War Against Cancer!

I don't really know what to start with so many things has happened lately. It's been a long, long summer for us and unfortunately one of the most stressful summers in my life (heck the whole year has been the worst EVER). We are still waiting for our divorce to be finalized and things are very uncertain to us at this time. It's hard to live when you don't know what to expect in the near future. But maybe this makes life more interesting that way? The kids are doing just fine and we are trying to provide them with lots of different activities before they start Mother's Morning Out in September. For now it's just them and us (me and babcia). Oh what I would do without babcia. Thank you so much for all your wonderful and unconditional help and support you have given us. We love you so much. Time are stressful for us not only because of the divorce but also because babcia is having some health issues as well and she does not have any type of life insurance so we have to go about getting her some help using rather unconventional ways. When we are lucky to be seen by a doctor, we usually spend half a day in the waiting room just to be seen. We probably have spent at least 50 hours over the last summer waiting to be seen by somebody :) Tomorrow is a very scary day. My mom is having two MRIs done (on her pelvis and abdomen) to figure out whether the masses she has on her liver and pelvic area are benign or not. We already had a CT scan but the doctor couldn't tell us anything after taking the reading and he ordered MRIs. I'm hoping and praying that whatever masses my mom has are not related to each other and that they both benign. I can't even think of the word cancer. It gives me goose bumps. It seems like way to many people around are having a cancer of some sort. One of my online photographer friend is fighting a stage 4 ovarian cancer as i write this and I can't help but question where does the cancer come from? I'm not a doctor or any type of specialist but i know for sure that environment has a LOT to do with it. "You are what you eat" is proven to be so true. In the age of fast, processed food, pesticides, antibiotics and chemicals that we are using in our homes (no more in my home)it is not hard to make a link between cancer and our way of living. I have never eaten really unhealthy but i did eat lots of junk food as well. It wasn't until i read Kris Carr's book "Crazy, sexy diet" that my eyes have completely opened and i understood how important it is to buy organically grown food and start implement a more raw diet into my life and of my children. I am proud to announce that I am a 100% vegetarian and on my way to becoming a vegan. I have never really eaten meat and have been a vegetarian since I was 12 years old (until i met my almost ex husband :) I gave up the only meat i ate in most recent years: fish. It's still a meat and i don't need it. The farmed fish is just simply full of chemicals and contaminants (since they feed them mostly corn) and the organic fish is out of reach for me, I can't afford it :) It's not even about not being able to afford it. It goes much deeper than this. I love animals. I always have (maybe i was some kind of animal in my previous life) and i WILL not under any circumstance contribute to their suffering anymore. There is enough food on this planet other than meat that we can easily substitute our diet with some healthy, yummy vegan meals instead. Actually, if we only consumed fruits and nuts we would be ok. I can't recall who said it but it is so smart "If people spent one day in a slaughterhouse, everybody would be a vegetarian". We all have compassion and we all are afraid of pain so why do we let thousands of animals (fish has feeling too) to be slaughtered under horrible conditions every single day? If you think that the animals die a quick and painless deaths, think again. They spent their entire lives in small spaces, large enough to just fit their bodies (most of them don't even have a way to sit down) and are fed mostly corn in their diets. I didn't mean to write this post about the horrible conditions of farmed animals, I just feel so helpless about the whole situation that i need to get it out of my system. HOW can there be so much suffering on this Planet and how come no-one is making it better?? (probably the topic of my next post). We humans are not even made to eat animals. Our teeth are meant to be used for grinding fruits and vegetables. We put too much thought into planning around what comes into our mouth. We no longer eat to live but instead we live to eat. So i decided to make a change in my family and we are now juicing daily and even growing our own wheat-grass, which is one of the biggest super-foods out there. Every morning we wake up and we start our day with a shot of wheat-grass. I almost gave up the only one thing that i thought i would never give up: coffee :) Yes coffee is acidic and is not good for our central nervous system. Kris Carr swears that if u drink your green juices you will never have to worry about the lack of energy, we shall see. I'm on the mission and a serious one. I so wish my kids never had an access to processed and full of chemicals foods, but as much as i want to shield them from that, it is little bit out of my control. I can only control what i put into their bodies during the week but i can't control what they are being exposed to during the weekend. Somehow i have to make peace with this. Hopefully if i teach them good eating habits, they will one day be able to make the right choices for themselves. I'm confident about Noah (although he does have a sweet tooth) he is already doing wheat-grass shots with us daily and he almost always drinks his green juices. Now Leah is different. Every time she sees the green or red color she runs to the next room. You have to be very tricky with her to even get her to have one sip of something. Today was the first day Leah actually had three sips of our veggie juice and it was only because Noah was drinking of her Dora's cup and she didn't see the color :) She is such an independent little girl now and yes she is already showing her little temper every time something doesn't get her way :) She stomps her feet, lays on the floor, screams...can't wait for the terrible two's to start :) One is certain, you cannot make Leah eat anything that she doesn't want to eat. Actually you cannot even pick up a fork and feed her, she wants to do it on her own :) She hates being fed. Our little princess is 18 months old can you believe it? NO i can't. Heck, Noah will be 4 this coming October. In spite of all our recent troubles, I have been trying to cherish every single moment with them. Just soak it all in and enjoy it while it lasts because they grow so fast. Noah is such a big boy already. He is starting his first soccer practice tomorrow. I really want to stop the time and just have them this age forever. Yes it's hard with both of them at times (a lot lately:) but the times when I actually spend time together are miraculous and out of this world. Noah loves to talk now and he wants to talk to me about different topics recently. He can talk and listen to me for hours. He is soo cute when he asks "a czemu" over and over again (which means why). Last time we were talking about temperatures and I complained that it was cold in the room and that i don't like cold and Noah said "mommy if you are cold, then just jump into a fire and you will be warm then". He is just soo cute. He is so smart and he surprises me more and more with his deep questions and sentences. Most recently he started to question me and my mom about dying (this been going on ever since we had to tell him that our bunny Lola went to heaven). He asks if i will die and he asks if he will die.I tell him that everybody dies sometime and he answers that he "...wants to live forever and ever". I'm wondering what goes through his little head when he asks these types of questions. We don't dwell on the topic and i always tell him to stay in the moment and just be HERE NOW instead of thinking what will happen later. This calms him down and he doesn't keep on asking about it. My best time of the day is when i come into Noah's room at night and lay next to him :) I have eyes full of tears even now when i think about it. He sleeps so peacefully and i just love to hug on him and rub his belly. Noah almost never wakes up (unless i am too intrusive and squish him little too much:). I live for these moments. Leah is still not a hugger but my second favorite time of the day is when i wake up and open Leah's room, see her wonderful smile and just hug her regardless of whether she wants to be hugged or not. She is just sooo yummy! My wonderful princess Leah and my little prince Noah. I love you both soo much. You are my sunshine, you are my everything.