Sentimental...

I have been feeling extremely sentimental lately. Not sure if it's my raging pregnancy hormones or I'm just simply feeling lots of love for Noah. Recently me and Noah have been spending lots of time together playing outside or just around the house. However, at 5 months pregnant, I can barely manage a quick walk and activities that I used to do with lots of energy are things of the past. I feel very guilty of not being able to play rough with Noah or give him a proper horse ride cause my back aches constantly now. I keep saying no to him. These last months of pregnancy have been bittersweet and even though I deeply love this coming child, it has occurred to me that this is the last time in Noah's childhood that it will be just the two of us. Soon enough he will have to learn to share mommy's lap, mommy's attention, mommy's hugs...Then I look at him. I study his little hand so pudgy and dimpled, I look at his perfectly blue eyes so free from our adult world of worries...they are lit up, in love with life and so excited and i just want to tell him "Please don't ever grow up and always stay my little boy". He is so beautiful it actually makes my heart physically hurt sometimes. Then i take a moment and think. We adults spend so much time worrying about money, our carriers and responsibilities. None of this matters to Noah. He is almost two and he wants to jump and have a horse ride on my back. This means something to him and now it means something to me as well. I want us to have the best time in our lives, just the two of us before we have to settle down and share our love with the coming new baby. right now i want to forget about everything except how much i love my little son.

Noah last week on his way to Mother's Morning Out school.