Midday sun with reflector

It was a time for another assignment this week and this time we had to shoot midday sun. As much as i am annoyed by shooting during a day here in GA (it's just too hot!) i like the end result. It was very bright out and miss Leah wasn't enough patient to stay in one place for more than couple seconds, so i didn't have much time to try different poses and such :) It was rather chaotic where my mom was standing in front of Leah with a reflector while i tried to get her in back button focus :) It's a circus here when i shoot but it's so much fun and I can't see any other activity now that would provide me with so much happiness. Photography does exactly that and MORE. If i could, i would just walk everywhere with my camera strapped around me so that i wouldn't have to waste another worthy to record moment (in my opinion :) from our lives.  I am also blessed to have two kids that don't mind me taking photos of them and who almost always cooperate. I do have to use little bribes with Noah but all things considered, he is one incredible model. Leah probably for as long as she can remember, associates me with the camera so she also doesn't mind me up her face all the time :) Oh my little girl. Sigh. She surprises me ever day. She is as delicate and fresh as a morning flower. She is always smiling, happy and content. There is so much i can learn from this amazing child. I'm sharing one of my favorite quotes:

"Light makes photography. Embrace it. Admire it. Love it. But above all, know light. Know it for all you are worth, and you will know the key to photography." - George Eastman



Filtered Sun.

Water

We had another bonus assignment this week and the subject was "water". Well we didn't really have a rain here over the last week but i decided to play with water for this assignment and i knew that Noah would love it. We put him in his rain shoes and off we went to play with the hose. As you may know, ever since Noah was a baby he loved playing with the hose (this is gotta be a boy thing since Leah could care less about the hose) :) Anyways, Noah had a blast! We had to shoot this assignment few times, so I'm attaching the photos from couple different sessions.


Love this so much! It has such a magical feeling to it.


Not sure if i like that in color or black and white :)

Nostalgia.

I can't stand the fact that I don’t post anymore.  I know that noone is really interested in what i have to say (my life mainly revolves around my kids, parenting stuff, complaints about lack of sleep and juggling my newly started business with babies). But when thoughts like this cross my mind, I try to remember what was the reason of starting this blog in first place. My children. I want them to look at the blog post I've created and be able to re-live their childhood once more just by looking at their pictures and remembering details from their life that otherwise may have been long forgotten.  Part of my late frustration is the fact that there is so much to write about but not enough time in a day for everything. I'm taking two photography classes now (with several weekly assignments), I'm trying to redesign my blogsite, spend some fun time with the kids, clean around the house some, squeeze in some exercise routine for myself (I'm not very successful here), catch up on a book, prepare freshly made vegetable juices for my kids, follow my spiritual practices (that take at least an hour daily to stay sane) and cook meals for the kids all at the same time. Oh and i also feel guilty about our dogs so when i put the kids to bed I usually sit outside and throw a tennis ball to Lilly and Josh while desperately trying to catch up on my e-mails and Facebook. Then and only then it's "me" time. A party that usually starts close to 9pm and ends somewhere around 2am. I'm not trying to vent here but this is what my life has been for the last year or so. I am very lucky that my mom has been here for the last several months  because she has helped tremendously with the kids, preparing home cooked meals for them and keeping the house kind of intact. I don't really know what i will do when she is back in Chicago soon. This is going to be a huge test for me as a mother. Soon to be a single mother. It's hard enough to manage two little kids in the house all day and trying to start a photography business at the same time. If only I didn't have to feel so guilty about everything, things would be much easier for me but I feel guilty a lot and with the unknown future ahead of me, I tremble with fear. On a top of this, I almost stopped doing my spiritual meditation in the morning because the practice requires me to get up an hour earlier than my kids to do an hour worth of meditation. Should i add that such practice must be done entirely on empty stomach? Well, this idea would not be far fetched for a normal functioning person but for someone that just had 5 hours of sleep, is almost impossible and i beat myself over this. And such a shame, because i really think this stuff works and it works in ways that are beyond our normal sphere of comprehension. When i did my practice every day, I felt at ease with everything and everyone i came into contact with. It creates a kind of protective blanket around a person that does it and nothing can really touch them. I miss the feeling of being ONE with everything. I miss GOD around me. I miss feeling complete and purposeful.

Unfortunately, In the midst of all my recent troubles I feel like i have my hands tight up for a while now and that there is no other way around this mess but be patient and wait for the big turn around of events. Is there going to be a turn around at all? I can't help but be a little pessimistic lately, which in turn makes me angry and resentful towards myself. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe it's time for me to re-prioritize what is the most important in life? I can answer that in a heartbeat- my kids! But then again it's hard for me not to think of how i will manage to provide for them and make sure they live a happy and healthy life. I know for certain that in order for them to be happy, I must be happy myself. In order for me to take a good care of them, I must take as good care of myself FIRST. It's as simple as that. I should always remember the words of Corrie Ten Boom: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength". Deep down i know that this period is just a bump in the road and that after the rain must come the sunshine and rainbow!


I started to really enjoy the out of focus shots recently. I noticed OOF shots actually can be used, in a really dreamy creative way!

Sun Flare

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child-our own two eyes. All is a miracle". 

 Oh how we all love to bath in the sun in our household! I couldn't live without it. Funny because i grew up in Poland, where we only had 2 months of really warm weather and for the rest of the year it was usually cold and overcast. I am so glad we live somewhere where we can enjoy the warm climate almost all year long. Yeah it gets cooler in the winter but it is not even comparable with Poland :) Anyways, we went to pick some strawberries this afternoon (again!!!) and after that we decided to do a little picnic in the field across the street. We were all tired and dirty but i noticed the sun through the branches of a tree and it was spectacular. I had to pull out my camera and snap some pictures. The colors were amazing and the kids looked like they were literally bathing in the sun. Leah wasn't in a good mood because she and Noah were fighting over my iphone (today's generation :) When i saw Noah sitting down besides Leah, sharing the Iphone with her and then placing his arm around her, I had to act quickly and capture this sweet moment between them. Nothing in the world makes me more happy than seeing my kids being affectionate with each other. I love you both soo much! Like from here to the moon and back.

Boat trip.

Today we decided to join Paul on the boat and we went cruising with the whole family around lake Lanier. The weather was wonderful and the kids had a lot of fun. Me and Noah even jumped into water and swim around.  Everything was great until me and Noah had a little accident were we almost drown together. I know. What the heck? Well i was trying to swim with Noah from our boat into a beach (Paul said it was only 4 feet deep in a water but turned out to be more than that) and suddenly half way there, Noah started to panic and started to climb on me pulling me and himsef under water. I really got scared because i felt helpless. I can swim but i can't swim when it's deep and someone is desperately latching onto me. Noah had his swimmies on but for some reason he didn't feel too comfortable in a water. Thanks God i finally felt a ground underneath me because we would have never come above the water again. It was very SCARY and I will never enter the water with him without any type of swimming jacket. I guess i remembered last year, when me and Noah just swam around (Noah with his swimmies on) very comfortably in a deep water and he never pulled me down. This year he is much more scared of swimming than he was last year.  When i came out, my whole chest felt tight and I was shaking all over. I can't believe how close we were to something really tragic. The memories from Destin flashed back from almost 9 years ago, when me and Paul got caught in a rip current and almost drowned together. I was lucky enough that a sweet gentleman jumped into a water after me and brought me back. Minutes later i was taken by ambulance to the hospital and was told that a day earlier 14 people drowned in Florida with 7 of them trying to rescue the ones that were drowning. Since that time, i have not entered the ocean when the waves were rough. I only entered the super quiet bay in St. Thomas and it was only because the water was like glass. I am super scared of the ocean and now after my last weekend i will be careful around any body of water. In a matter of minutes things can get out of control, especially when it comes to nature.

Leah's 15 months appointment.

So it's time for Leah's 15 months check-up with Dr. Balcarek. Me and Leah arrived at Dr. B's office pretty happy and relaxed. For some reason I forgot that Leah is going to get three shots. I thought the next shots will be at 2 years. Anyways, as soon as my little girl saw Dr. B, she bursted into tears. She didn't even want to look at Dr. B making it difficult to perform her check-up. Gosh this behavior is so girls like :) Noah was never acting this way. He loved Dr. B and was always happy to see her. Yes-he didn't like his shots and he cried a bit but not nearly as much as Leah :) She just doesn't like the strangers forcing her into anything, not even into something as simple as laying down and checking Leah's ears. Forget about the throat :) So when Miss Leah got her shots one after the other, I just stood by helplessly and held her hands. It was such a nerve wracking experience for me (and I'm sure for her as well) so I am glad I asked Dr. B for some cereal for Leah to munch on afterwards (they didn't have lollipops) and she immediately stopped crying :) Just feed my girl and she is good to go! According to Dr. B Leah is doing wonderfully. Leah is right on track developmentally and she is a healthy and happy kid. Dr. B said that if all kids were as healthy as mine, she wouldn't have a job :) After we left the doctor's office, we stopped by Whole Foods and picked up four fresh, green juices, some healthy snacks and sushi for lunch and we headed back home. I was very surprised to see that Leah tried her green juice lemonade few times made with spinach, carrots, kale and lime. My juice wasn't too tasty but I drank it all for my well-being. Noah and babcia also drank all their juices after we came back home. Yeah!!! I am so glad we are drinking them now regularly.

 Here are Leah's stats from her 15 months appointment:
Height: 32 and a half inches long (that's 95%)
Weight: 27lbs.4 oz (95%)
Head Cir: 47cm
Noah's states were similar (he was little bit behind Leah :) He weighed: 26 lbs.6 ounces and was 34 inches long. I am so grateful that i have such healthy and wonderful kids! Here is Leah at 15 months:
Comparison picture between Noah and Leah:

Dramatic Lighting

This week's assignments were all about ratios and different types of lights. I really like the dramatic light and I am just in love with my results. They convey my feelings and add a little dramatic effect to my images. I am so happy that i finally have a studio and can take pictures of my kids when the weather outside is not permitting. These pictures I will always cherish. They speak so loudly to me and really tell a story of our family. They are moody but they warm my heart so much and bring peace to my soul.
 Love this so much.
 
Me...:)

Nostalgia.
 
LOVE!!!

Strawberries!

It's this time of the year when we usually go to the strawberry farm to pick up fresh strawberries. Yeah!!! This year we have already been twice on the farm and I am sure that we will be back there next week as well.  I love fruit farms and strawberry farms are by far my most favorites. It's such an awesome experience for the kids. They had a great time just walking around and picking strawberries. I regret that we didn't start earlier this year because the farm was open in mid-March. I had no idea that strawberries were ready for harvest so early this year so we waited all the way to May 1st. Next year i will know better and we start harvesting in March :) Anyways both times we chose two huge buckets and filled them up completely. The farm doesn't spray any pesticides on their strawberries so they are ok to eat. I don't know how much i ate both times but it was a LOT :) Nothing better than a home grown strawberries straight from the field. Mniam Mniam.